Halloween Party & Rejection

This week I helped in two of my sons classes for their Halloween parties. I’ve always loved being in my kids’ classes, seeing how they interact with their peers, and helping their teachers in any way I can. My mom set a great example of that when I was a child and I wanted to continue that for my children.

My middle son is in 2nd grade, and his teacher doesn’t have parents come in very often, so I jumped at the chance to help out with the Halloween party. She was letting the parents take the lead on planning it. I’m happy to lead a group like that, but equally as happy to simply be given a job and do it without complaint. The other parents jumped right in on the e-mail chain planning and assigning. I ended up being assigned to bring a “spooky” book to read. We don’t really have “spooky” books, so I picked a few cute stories as options.

When I arrived in the classroom, it was like nothing I’d ever experienced before.

I walked in and no one acknowledged it.

NONE of the other moms said hi, looked at me, or even told me where I should set up. It was the strangest thing. I wasn’t expecting a red carpet, but a simple “Hi” or smile didn’t seem out of reach. Finally, after an awkward minute or so, I asked the woman closest to me where I should be for my station. She gestured to the reading corner that the teacher has set up for the students and said I could be there.

I offered to help her open some prizes to go in the prize box and she said “Sure,” again without looking at me.

I wanted to crawl up in a ball in the corner. I wanted to leave, but knew I couldn’t. I didn’t even know these women. But all of them knew each other and none of them knew me and that was painfully obvious.

Making friends as an adult is hard. I wasn’t looking for a life-long friend or anything, just a friendly face and maybe to connect up with the mom of kids that my son talks about all the time. I was met with neither. It was isolating, frustrating, and honestly embarrassing. It took me back to when I was close to my son’s age and experienced similar shunning because I was different.

But it was all worth it when my son came into the room after recess and saw me there. His eyes lit up and he immediately ran to me and threw his arms around me! That was why I was volunteering, not to be like the other moms. I wasn’t there to only talk to adults. I was there to help the kids have a good time! And honestly, I dealt mostly with the kids during the party itself, which I was grateful for.

I didn’t need validation from those other moms. I simply needed to be present for my child and available for whatever was needed.

That’s all God needs from us! He needs us to be present and available for Him to work in and through us.

Did it hurt being rejected and ignored? Yes.

Does that define me? No.

Did it keep me from experiencing joy with my son? No, because I didn’t let it.

Be available. Be present. Be devoted to Him.